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Ken’s absence last week has led some listeners to wonder whether an automated Ken-3000 replacement could be commissioned to cover future time off, remixing and replaying the vast library of past Jose Mourinho commentary. Ken adds some new clips to the algorithm’s memory cache with a dramatic U-turn.

Chelsea are now struggling to get back into the race for Champions League qualification. Has Antonio Conte forgotten that motivation is about more than simply telling your players what to do?

Does Scott McTominay have the potential to be a fixture in the Manchester United team? Is there anything new to say about Arsenal? And how will the yellow ribbon stand-off between Pep Guardiola and the FA play out? Jonathan Wilson and John Brewin join us to analyse.

Meanwhile Diego Torres’ reports on the goings-on at PSG have assumed the same place in the culture as Dallas occupied in the 80s. We crank his latest despatch through Google Translate.

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