We talk about the perils of narrativising: Thomas Tuchel wishes his players would stop seeing catastrophic patterns in what is no more than averagely-terrifying chaos. Ole Gunnar chooses to surf the wave of destiny rather than act as though it doesn’t exist.

Miguel Delaney was in Paris to see United’s glory show. We pick over the bones of Paris’ defeat: where do they go from here? Will Neymar ever play another Champions League knockout game?

Plus there’s the latest from Ireland’s squad announcement, where Mick McCarthy announced a 38-man panel that contained a few surprises, just not the surprises we were expecting.

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